Its been awhile since I posted on this blog...I made it almost a year ago to replace the "old blog"...I wanted to start fresh...since I had just started a new chapter in my life...I had just become a stay at home mom and a new mother (it had been 10 years since I had a baby in my arms!) It has been crazy busy around here and the
SUPERMOM I thought was going to have time to blog...didn't...We have finally settled into quite a nice routine...
and it only took us 10 months...HA...I guess that's one month for each year I was out of commission...anyway...since dear Jonas started sleeping through the night and I somewhat became a normal functioning human again...I decided it was time to make some changes in my life...I have been overweight for the last TEN YEARS...when I was pregnant with Bryson (my first born son) I gave myself a free pass to eat whatever I wanted...whenever I wanted...and after nine months of that...I gained 60lbs...YES...60lbs...I went from a normal 155 lbs to an overweight 210 lbs...and guess what...when that perfect 8 pound 8ounce baby emerges into the world...he doesn't bring the other 51 pounds and 8 ounces with him...I was a young mother...only 20 years old...and the adjustment into motherhood was a hard one for me...I felt insecure as a mother...and as a woman(with a new Ugly body) that didn't help one bit...so I turned to food as my comfort...even though I had a great husband and an amazing baby...that brought so much JOY to my life...I also had a lifelong relationship with my depression...the next 10 years brought along miscarriages, family struggles and even a divorce...BUT I also became a Christian, repaired my marriage, became educated about my depression and found the perfect medication, was blessed with a new baby and a new job...my life is now better than it has ever been...but my behind is also bigger than it has ever been...God has given me a fresh start in life...just because he LOVES me...and now it's time to love myself...I don't want to be ashamed of the way I look anymore...I don't want to be to tired to be the best mom I can be anymore... and I don't want to be the girl that is to embarrassed of herself to even set foot in a gym anymore...I don't want to continue to be the person I have become...so afraid of the huge task of getting back to a healthy weight...
to even attempt it...on April 1st I decided to start the Advocare 24 day challenge...I am now on day 22 just 2 days left...and I can proudly say that I have not given up...not once...I have lost weight (I can't wait to see the total on Wednesday) and feel great...I have energy and feel a little more like the old me...you would never guess from looking at me now... that I was a runner in high school...I ran 5 miles a day without fail...and just because I LOVED it...it was my passion...my escape...and I always felt like I could conquer the world after a run...That brings me to my breakthrough...It happened on my walk tonight...I was thinking about how much I used to LOVE running...and how I had been so overweight for so long that it had been 13 years since I had even tried to run...then...I had a thought
...what if I tried to run right now...I continued to walk because along with that thought came others...
what if someone sees me...
how stupid will I look... and I probably can't do it anyway...but then I DID IT...I started to run...and even though it was more of a very slow jog...for me it was much more...it was the girl I used to be telling me she was still in there somewhere...I jogged about half a mile...and it was hard...and I almost quit a few times...but the hope of someday being a real runner again kept me going...when I finished I cried like a crazy woman...I cried all the way home...because I ran...I ran for the first time in 13 years...and because of that I know I can do this...I know I can lose the weight...the physical weight AND the emotional weight that has been holding me back! Wish me luck!